Despite World Cup glory, respect and equality elusive
So reads the Boston Globe headline...
July 7, 2015
...that addresses the "insulting" disparity between the women's World Cup winner's prize of $2 million dollars and the men's World Cup payday of $35 million.
How awful, awful, awful! Something has to be done!
Where is the female Muhammad Ali? Where is the female Babe Ruth? Where is the female Bruce Jenner?
Oh, wait! That's it! We need to find an egalitarian way —through legislation, court orders, and tax dollars— to fund the emasculation of boy children and the force-feeding of steroids to girl children. Then we can at last have a truly fair, Democratic, and genderless, free-for-all America.
Let's not stop until everyone is equal. Let's tan white folks and bleach black folks. Let's shorten tall people and stretch short people. Let's enlighten idiots and stupefy intellectuals; oh, wait, check the latter; it's all set.
Then there will be only one liberal conundrum left for the United States: how to celebrate our differences while eradicating them.
Or maybe we could just grow up and enjoy sex in all its gloriously unequal varieties.
Postscript July 8
The headline of the Globe article has been changed to
"Women's Cup winners paid $2m, far below men's $35m"